I’m often asked how I do it all. I have been called super mom more times than I can count. I’m not bragging. I just have my own interests, just like anyone else.
I also don’t think that I “do it all”.
I’ve written before about my passion for being a stay at home mom and wife. It is just something that always interested me. Even when I was younger and hadn’t planned out my future beyond what I was going to do over the weekend, I loved that roll. I’ve also written about my bumps and dark spots that kept me stagnant.
I don’t “do it all” all the time. I have periods of melancholy and anxiety, periods of being just tired, periods of busyness in other areas of life, but when all is well and all is normal, I just go along with my daily routine; one that just so happens to include a lot of time in the kitchen, in the soil, and focus on the house.
I think all moms go through a period where they realize that somewhere along the way, they have lost their identity. The motherhood roll takes up so much of their life, that they don’t see the woman they once were. That’s why I believe that having an interest and/or hobby is so important. Throwing that hobby into your daily routine just makes it something that you’re going to put some time into.
One of my favorite hobbies is cooking and baking. So I put that into my daily routine. With kids around, it’s just easier to include them. It takes a while, it’s messy, but we all enjoy it. And bonus, we get homemade baked goods and food that just makes me look good. But really, it’s just fun. If cooking wasn’t my thing, the family would eat differently and that’s ok.
Turning a hobby into a daily routine mixed in with my easy house cleaning routine actually leaves a lot of time in the day for other things. Right now I’m sitting here writing this while Jack watches cartoons and Audrey naps. I’m not busy all day. A lot of the day! But not all hours.
If my interests are not your interests, that doesn’t make me better than you. I’m not winning at motherhood because I make food or decorate my house or plant a seed in some dirt. Everyone has things they’re good and and things they aren’t. Or things they want to become good at so they practice.
The truth is, when I decide to bake a loaf of bread or make some pie crust, not one kid complains when I ask if they want to help. Yes, I’d rather do it by myself, but at least I’m not worried about the suspicious quiet, or have a toddler hanging off my leg screaming to be picked up. I let them pour pre measured ingredients and that takes up about 10 minutes of our day, if that. The rest of the time, dough is rising or chilling while I meal prep, hang up a load of clean laundry, wipe down counters, send the Roomba around the house, change a diaper, or just sit and read while the kids play or watch tv.
Rolling dough or shaping it into loaves, kneading, dusting with flour, brushing on a cream or egg wash, sliding something into the oven, all takes minutes. Then it’s back to laundry, dishes, sweeping, mopping, or resting while the thing bakes.
It’s also worth noting that I have no life outside the house really, and I’m fine with that. I don’t work. I run very few errands. I am home 99% of the time. Might as well make it nice to look at. 😜
Don’t do what I do as a measure for what you should be doing.