When I had my first baby, I had no idea how difficult motherhood would be. I was sure that I would be great at this. I wanted a big family.
Three kids in and I feel like I can’t make it up to the surface for a breath some days. I sometimes forget to shower. Sometimes I forget to brush my hair. I’m mentally and physically being pulled in three directions at once for a large part of the day and I often forget about me.
I know other moms can relate when I say that when I DO do something for me, I feel guilty.
Every mom dwells on their abilities to parent and keep it together.
Just yesterday, I witnessed a lot of hostility and bickering in an online group for moms. Shocking, right?
Here’s the thing, everyone has certain standards in their parenting. Everyone has their own way to raise their children. What works for one will not work for the other. It just won’t. And that’s ok.
No one needs to be told how to parent. They don’t need links to studies claiming an all encompassing way to do something. No one is the same. No one learns the same way, no one thinks the same way, no one feels the same way. There is no one way to parent a child because each individual parent and child are different.
We need to be open minded. We need to step out of the divided lines and lift each other up. Stop complaining about the “mainstream” and their *wrong* ways. Stop rolling your eyes at the “weird crunchy moms”. Stop spending 10 minutes searching online for an article to disprove another moms beliefs, because that’s just crazy. Stop being so dedicated to proving someone wrong. Relax and let it go.
We’re all in this together. We are all struggling and frustrated. We’re all a hot mess just trying to find the time to take care of ourselves. Stop making it harder for others to gather up some sort of confidence and roll with the day. It doesn’t make you look smart. It makes to look like an asshole.